Unmoulded

An inchoate adult still forming
I was malleable to the wishes of others
Putty to their suggestions and hints
Re-formed with each different request
Moulding to desires, none of my own
That I had no idea who I was
Couldn’t tell you what I liked or didn’t
Because it all depended
On what would make the other person happy
A professional people-pleaser
Never considering what I wanted
Mostly not even knowing what it would be
Happy to make others happy
Is that crazy?
Maybe
But oh, the ramifications when that stopped
I needed to prepare myself mentally
But I never knew what the extent of the fallout would be
Those whose shape I was no longer adopting
Indignantly declared that I had changed
Not pleased at the resurrection of my spine
Their presence from my life faded rapidly
And though it stung in the beginning
The compliments and support from those who remained
Ecstatic for my essence to rise from inside the clay
To shatter the layers that had been sculpted around me
In the fashion of those whom I had given my power to
Motivated and encouraged me
To continue to discover the being of my soul
My wishes
My dreams
My desires
To live this life for me
But that didn’t mean selfishly
For I loved them even more that stayed behind
Because there was no doubt of their authenticity
They loved me for me
The real deal

Debbie Gravett © 2022.02.17

FOWC: Malleable
RDP: Inchoate
Image by German Rojas from Pixabay