When Will the War End?

Straddled the wall of doubt and faith
Belief in myself often missing
And I find myself tipping to one side
Radioactive toxicity of judging myself
Infecting my behaviour and attitude
Causing a ripple effect
In how the world in turn reacts to me
If I see it with dark and negative eyes
The light dims and fades
Giving me what I’m expecting
Because I am making it so
Like radiation I pollute my surrounds
Poison all of those around me
Because I believe it to be so
I lay them bare here and now
To rinse and release contamination
That swirls like a repeating cycle
Self-inflicted from the inside
I close my eyes now
Pull a clearing breath
To wipe the slate clean
Blow the misery away
Replace with clarity
Allowing love to grow for myself
In a chest that struggles to gain breath
To stop the crushing like a tin can
By my own mind of lacking
Not enough
A war to fight back against the reflection
Like an angel and a devil
Two sides taunting me
And I trying to battle numb surrender
In a failure of finding hope
I constantly return to these steps
On a spiral staircase of the same feelings
But I will not give up or quit
I will remember how far I have come
And rest a little before the next bout
Asking my beings of support to help me
Show me how to get up again
How to find the faith in myself
To believe I am abundant, I am enough

Debbie Gravett © 2021.10.11

FOWC: Radioactive
RDP: Straddle
Image by mikegi from Pixabay

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