The Pain of It

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hat/het/hit/hot/hut.” Choose one, choose ’em all, put ’em in your post. Enjoy!


This poem is inspired by my recent stay in hospital due to abdominal surgery to remove my ovary and the subsequent recovery. I met an elderly woman whose high blood pressure had brought her in. She was living with her son and his wife, and permanently on oxygen. She felt like a burden and was heart-sore over her situation. From our chat I could picture her in healthier days, a very independent woman who rode motorbike, lived in a tent for a few years and simply enjoyed her life. In my recuperation I hit a rather melancholy dark day where the world seemed like too difficult a place to be and my body an uncooperative vessel – yip, I was throwing one hell of a pity party. But it got me thinking.

My pain will be something of a distant memory in a few months, but what of those who are constantly in agony. How do terminal patients get out of bed every morning, and some with smiles? I don’t agree with it, but I can understand how people can get addicted to painkillers just to survive. I am sending love and light to all of those who are struggling and to those who have constant pain and still manage a smile here and there. I take my hat off to you. These words are what I imagine from the perspective of someone in so much agony.

Behind the shroud of mist of pain
Life lurks beyond the grasp
With random hits of agony
A constant mourning veil
Concealment of constant ache
Darkened smile lost of sparkle
Living passing rapidly by
Hot days or cold all alike
Under this weight of suffering
No energy to hide from it
Or hide it from the world
No energy to live nor die
Just a desperate desire
To turn it off
A switch to feel nothing at all
For this existence in continued pain
Is not what life is meant to be
And eyes are barely seeing straight
Blurred and looking for the next respite
To focus on how one could make it right
So all I ask in wretched plea
Is one last pill to help my fight

Debbie Gravett © 2021.06.19

SoCS: hat/het/hit/hot/hut
Image by Ajay kumar Singh from Pixabay

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