Conditional

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “first thing.” Start your post with the words, “first thing” and go from there. Bonus points if you end your post with the last thing. Have fun!

The first thing that I knew
Should’ve been your unconditional love
The warmth and security of your heart
A place wrapped in a blanket of care
Never to be afraid of anything
Least of all doing something to lose it
But that wasn’t so
Everything I’ve done since
Calculated to make sure that I’m not left
To make the world a happy place for you
As much as that was possible to do
No matter how I felt about this or that
Rocks building a wall that I’ll always be climbing
Never reaching the place of satisfaction
So I’ve decided
Worry no longer if you think I’m lovable or not
I’m in the game of knowing that I am
If by nobody else, then I’ll step in that place
Give myself the respect and attention I need
Because no matter what, I deserve it
Giving me your conditions will be the last thing

Debbie Gravett © 2021.01.16