Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “list.” Make or talk about a list. Enjoy!

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On a piece of paper that was snow white
Scribbled these tasks that I have to do
This list of chores that I couldn’t speak to
Soul sapping and depressing things
With no time for passion, fashion or pleasure
Slowly each day on this repeated play
It ate away at the me that I should have been
The real one burning inside
‘til there were only cinders of a woman
Little more than ashes left of me
Worn out and broken down
By a life that I thought I had to live
To make everybody happy, to make them proud
But nowhere in my figuring did I figure in
Nowhere in my thoughts did my wishes come up
Other than vague whisperings to myself
That this was not what I wanted
But soon I drowned them out
Soon I quieted the dissent inside my head
Made sure it stepped in line with what I was told
That it didn’t matter what I wanted
That wasn’t meant for me today or any other
My work was to make sure
That everyone else was happy and calm
That way they would still love me and stay
That way they wouldn’t leave and take their love away
It’s been a long journey with many soul sapping lists
And now I have only one thing left to do
To learn to love myself
See myself as important enough to matter
Matter enough that it is my dreams and wishes
That I’m working to make come true
My happiness that is the end goal
Because I deserve it, just because I was born

Debbie Gravett © 2020.12.05

SoCS: List
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

4 thoughts on “Mattering

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