Holes

I’m examining this beating drum in my chest
It’s beginning to resemble a fish moth eaten garment
Lost, long ago in the depths of the cupboard
Pieces are missing, pieces have left and pieces have died
There are still bits holding together and making it whole
Like the ropes of a net, the bits connect to make it one
But I fear what will slip through the holes in this net
Once upon a time I wondered if my heart could hold
More than one child, if my love would split and divide
If I’d have to halve what I gave one so that I could give to another
When another came into my life, the love that I held multiplied
My heart can grow bigger. The capacity has always been infinite
I am able to love so many, I am able to give so much
And I am able to add to this love. I am also able to receive
Although holes may appear and loved ones may leave
The spaces they occupied will never be filled.
My heart is always full. There is always love around and though sometimes
I feel it splinter, shatter and break, I know it is never broken
It’s just the ripping of a piece as it tears away the flesh to leave a hole
Whether gone for good or gone temporarily from my vicinity it all endures pain
It’s all-inclusive of my loss. None will ever fill your void,
None will ever take your place. And immediately after you’re gone,
My thoughts dwell within the space. I rattle around within the hole
Remembering, missing and grieving.
As time goes by, I fill the space with beautiful memories,
With love that we had, that we shared
The space is always there, for you might not be
But it still has love from you and me

Debbie Gravett © 2016-09-17

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